Long story short – it's been a long week and a half. Stressing, worrying, crying, arguing, wishing, hoping, praying, hurting, but today…
Today there was smiling. Today there was inner-peace.
I feel like a yogi saying “inner-peace”. My friends and family know I’m probably the farthest thing from a calm, tranquil, peaceful yogi. I actually have to force myself to do a 20-minute yoga video once or twice a month, and when I am successful, I reward myself.
Sorry, that was all just a little side-story that was probably pointless, but it ran through my brain so I shared it. So there.
Anyway, it’s been a while since I’ve felt like this. To add to my much-needed happiness, my mom asked me if I wanted to go to Williams Sonoma and shop around a little. Ladies and gentlemen, there is never a need to ask me such a silly question.
YES OF COURSE, I want to go to Williams Sonoma.
Macy’s was our first stop when we got to the Brea Mall, and we picked up a few kitchen necessities for my dorm-room. A little clothes-shopping done (like my new donut-socks?), and we were headed to Williams Sonoma. Heaven.
Sure, I can walk around and check out all the gadgets, supplies, tools, baking sheets and what not, but where I’ll really get stuck are the bookshelves. Seriously, if you take me to any store that sells cookbooks, don’t plan on leaving in ten minutes.
And if you take me to Williams Sonoma, don’t plan on making it home before midnight. The bookshelves aren’t very big, but they hold every book I’ll ever want to read – everything from Giada’s “Feel Good Food” to Ina Garten’s “Barefoot Contessa Foolproof” to “Williams Sonoma Breakfast Comforts Cookbook”.
If I won the lottery, I’d just buy probably every cookbook on those shelves. When I read one, it’s seriously like I’m in my own little world, imagining myself all grown up in my own kitchen cooking all these gourmet, healthy recipes for my family, not having a single thing to worry about. I can’t wait for that time to come.
When I realized I didn’t know where my mom was, I figured it was time to go (only because she was my ride home). I found her next door in Pottery Barn.
She’s got her thing. I’ve got mine.
Hoping to avoid traffic, we headed out to the car and hit the road. Then we hit traffic. At 5:30 pm on a Tuesday night when we’re exhausted from shopping for two hours, traffic usually puts us in a bad mood, but I was determined not to let that happen. I put on some music, reclined my chair, closed my eyes and just relaxed.
Who cares when we got home? Traffic won’t keep us stuck for hours, more like thirty minutes. I didn’t have any plans for the night, and I was enjoying just singing quietly with the music and letting my thoughts just go where they wanted – something I hadn’t been allowing myself to do much lately.
Sure enough, we got home around 6:00. No big deal, silly traffic.
“Hey mom, what’s for dinner?” I asked, my dad wondering the same thing. I opened the fridge before she could answer and saw a Tupperware container holding leftovers that would make this day go from really good to really awesome – salmon.
A couple minutes on the grill to re-heat it, and dinner was served (with a simple salad, balsamic-roasted broccoli, and a lemon wedge). I can’t ever find the words to describe how salmon makes me feel, so I’ll just stop talking and not ruin it.
Then, there was dessert. When I’m just hanging out at home with my parents, I don’t usually crave dessert. That’s more of something I’ll do with my friends.
But tonight, there was dessert. Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia FroYo to be exact – thanks to my lovely mother. I scooped way more than the recommended serving size in a bowl, plopped on the couch, and watched “Teen Beach Movie”. Why that movie? Good question, I still don’t know the answer.
This may seem like a regular day – nothing too exciting or life-changing (besides my cookbook-encounter), but that’s what made it perfect. After a long week and a half of trying to figure out God’s plan for me and why He is doing what He is doing, I needed a day to just breathe, a day to just let things happen the way they’re supposed to. I don’t know what’ll happen tomorrow, or in a week when I pack up and head to SLO, or in four years when I’m graduating, so I am realizing how important it is to control what I can – which is how I feel right now.
Right now, I can choose to worry about who I’ll marry, or if I’ll be able to make a living, or I can choose to let God take control of those problems, and I can be happy with now.