Because I just dug my spoon into one of the most mesmerizing ice cream sandwiches e v e r. And I did it alllllll by myself.
So, let's talk about the interaction between food and social situations, because if you have even the slightest bit of a social life (hint: we all do), the interaction is most certainly there. For me, food determined a) whether or not I'd attend the social situation, b) what I'd be doing/eating at the social situation, c) how I would "make up for" whatever I "unhealthy" food I ate, etc. Food had control. If all the menu offered was pizza laden with cheese or french fries and wings or the like, or if the vacation didn't provide me some sort of gym/workout space and the time to workout, you can bet your best ice cream sandwich I would be reluctant at best to attend the event.
I sigh as I write this and admit it to myself yet again.
One of the reasons I stepped out the vegan diet was because I felt I was lightly damaging my social life. Nothing against the vegan diet, but - long story short - right now, I want to pour more energy into friendships and time with family than I do into my vegan diet. God is pushing me towards a passion for relationships more than for the environment and "health". And that. is. okay.
For five years, I've held some sort of restriction(s) around food that have inhibited my ability to soak up every last bit of enjoyment of social situations, specifically (but not limited to) those involving food. An example: I skipped sleepovers with my best friends in high school because I wanted to avoid the late-night snacks and run 10 miles in the morning. That's just one of many. I used to back out of social situations at (almost) all costs if I sensed, in any way, an interference with my "rules" regarding what I do/don't eat and my exercise routine.
Again, a sigh.
Now, I'm working towards opening myself up to social situations also at (almost) all costs. You could say I'm doing so in an attempt to make up for what I've missed out on for five years: that slice of cheesy pizza, those french fries, that late-night donut, all in the cherished presence of loved ones (of course, in a balanced, not binging fashion). From what I've thus far experienced, I'm not sure if there is anything better than what most social situations involving food + loved ones offer.
Exuberant joy. Unconditional self-love. Stomach-aching laughter and cheek-cramping smiles. Oh, and heart + soul + mind-satisfying food.
Here's to social eating!
And now, here's to still eating that pizza or those fries or that donut (or, more applicably today, that ice cream cookie sandwich), when it's just you, sans the social situation. An example: my bff and I had loose plans today to split an ice cream cookie sandwich from our favorite local shop in the middle of the hot Friday afternoon, but when the time rolled out, she just simply wasn't craving it anymore. No biggie, not at all. However, do I still want it? A big chunk of the joy that comes from the interaction of food + social situations is the person(s) with whom it is all shared, especially when that person is your best friend.
But, as an introvert, sometimes I'm okay with spending time alone versus with others, even my best friend. And with that, I bit into my oatmeal cookie + carrot cake ice cream sandwich and I think I saw and felt a glimpse of heaven. Okay, maybe it wasn't heaven, but it surely was close.
I guess it was a glimpse of food freedom + true self-love + peaceful balance. I loved it, for lack of better words. Loved every minute walking around downtown as the single woman God made me. Loved every bite of that rich, creamy, sweet ice cream and the buttery, chewy cookie.
Every. Damn. Minute.
Since the minute I read these verses, I've wanted to share them...
That excerpt, specifically, relates more to my transition out of a vegan diet, which you can read about here. Bottom line, I found it SO encouraging.
This specific verse touches my heart today. Yes, God certainly is gearing my heart towards embracing the interaction of food + social situations, but He is also still helping me enjoy food itself, and with myself (that food being my ice cream sandwich today). God loves to see us join together in the happiness of community, but He also loves purely to see your individual smile and mine.
So, here's to food enjoyed around a table or on a picnic blanket or on the living room couch. And here's also to food enjoyed at a table for one or walking solo down the street or wherever it may be.
Hello , World!