These four random things (but are they really random, Haley?… no) are on my mind these days - not enough of each to elaborate into single blog posts, but definitely enough to share here because, remember, it’s more than food. Hope you enjoy my thoughts!
I want this cozy drink more than ever these days, but at the same time, I also shouldn’t be drinking the amount I have been. And I shouldn’t be “should”-ing when it comes to food… and now I’m just “should”-ing all over the place, aren’t I? I’ll stop. Anyway, caffeine HITS me, guys. I can feel it within seconds the first sip hits my system, which is half the point of coffee, if you ask me. The other half is why I actually crave it - coziness, flavor, warmth, comfort. I’m a snuggler and I think, right now, coffee is my snuggle-buddy. I’m not mad about it. BUT. There’s always a “but”. I’m sensitive to caffeine, so any cup after 12 PM and any small drop after 4 PM means much less sleep than needed for Haley, and with a job that wakes me up at 4 AM most days… yeah, you do the math. The night before last, I lay in bed and could feel the caffeine in me. I didn’t drink an excessive amount that day, but, for whatever reason, I physiologically noticed the amount more than usual. Tossing. Turning. Thinking. Frustration building as I looked at the clock that said “1:15 AM”, “2:30 AM”, “3 AM”. UGH.
I woke up feeling like road-kill, and that only intensified as the day went on. I blame coffee and I am not sorry. So, all that to say - I’m sticking with my regular cup of joe in the morning, and then any desired coffee after that will be in decaf form. Done. No questions asked. Sleep must be had.
As if I could sum up Jesus in a paragraph here. HA. That is most certainly not my point. I just want to make sure to brighten your day by reminding how you awesome it is that we are called into relationship with him and with others who help us focus on him. Each week, I attend church on Sunday and small group on Tuesday, and I leave those just incredibly thankful for faith and community and joyful in how God has worked and is continuing to do so, in ways I might not even know of yet.
This is something I recently (recently as in… like, two days ago) came face-to-face with. I don’t think I’m supposed to stay here in SLO after I graduate. To plant myself here, working, cookbook-ing/blogging, and enjoying the Central Coast has been my plan for the past two years, but things are changing. My heart wants to be with family. My brain doesn’t want to worry about fires (it’s a significant fear, guys). Both just want change, which I never really thought I would hear myself say.
Unexpected change hit me rather quickly a couple months ago and that forced me to think about my future in a new light. It also led me back to God, so as unexpected as it may have been, it was also much-needed. A reality-check. A wake-up call. A blessing, really.
My tentative plans are to graduate in March (which is not tentative - that is HAPPENING, PEOPLE.), stay in SLO until my lease ends in July, and then get my booty on the road to Minnesota. I hope to travel through Europe in October, spend the holidays with family, and then recuperate adult life come the new year of 2020. Crazy. Exciting. I’m so ready.
Boy, oh boy, do I need more of this. Am I the only person who finds herself feeling some sort of strange need to always have either music, a podcast, a Bon Appetit YouTube video, or latest Hulu/Netflix show playing in the background of daily activities? I sure hope I’m not. Every so often, I catch myself reaching for a noise-creating device and stop myself as I think: how nice might it be right now to just… be? It is really nice. Silence is absolutely wonderful. If our own worlds were constantly buzzing with sounds, how would we hear our own voices, thoughts, opinions, desires? We wouldn’t. We would lose touch with our individual selves, and that is just a terrible feeling, guys. Believe me. I’ve been there.
So, my focus is now on noticing the time I mindlessly reach for my noise-creating device and asking myself if I really need it or want it. Am I looking for noise to shut out some other thought or feeling? Or am I actually just wanting to listen to something, like a favorite song or one I haven’t heard in a while?
Don’t be afraid of silence. Let it be uncomfortable at first. Sit with your thoughts and feelings. Dissect them. Love them. You are full of endless and beautiful discoveries!
Thanks for reading! Keep coming back for more posts like this - just some random blurbs of life. I enjoy writing them and I hope you enjoy reading them! Tell me something exciting about YOUR life down below!